I have hands and arms and legs and feet,
I have an air conditioner to keep me from the summers heat,
I have a few friends and even more acquaintances.
I’ve got it good.
Did you know that as of this year, and this is a fact, 1.1 billion people in this world still don’t have toilets?
Literally, not a pot to piss in.
I have a toilet. Fuck, there’s a toilet right over there. In fact, I think there’s six of them, if not more!
I’ve got it good.
I have a car.
I have a vehicle in which I can drive to the grocery store, where there is an extensive array of food and beverages and cleaning supplies and candy and beer and liquor and cigarettes, and anything else one could possibly need. Enough to feed a small country.
And if for some reason I couldn’t afford to buy all the things that I could ever want. I can buy it on credit.
I’ve got it good.
I’ve got eyeballs.
My eyes give me the ability to take in an exhibition of shapes and colours that form a ridiculously beautiful sea of visual being that helps me contour the amazing reality that sits right here in front of me.
And through these eyes I can be confronted with the night sky and the clouds above that, and the stars above that, and they let me ponder and contemplate the vastness of the universe and give me the inspiration to think and wonder, “what are we, and why are we here?”
I’ve got it good
I have a cell phone. A mass of elements that have been melded together and through thousands of years of science and technology and the infinite imagination of the human psyche to conjure up this little device comprised of plastic and metal. With this device I can talk to my family in real time while they sit in a nice well-lit living room in the darkness of night in a different part of the country. With the push of a few buttons I can contact whomever I wish, within reason, and I can tell them anything that is on my mind at any time. I can make a call to a random person on the other side of the planet where people walk upside-down in comparison and say, “hey fuck you Frenchie!” and hang up.
I’ve got it good
Just yesterday, a crippled guy limped up to me and asked me for a cigarette.
I gave him one.
You know why? Because I have a whole pack of them.
His hands were twisted inward and I was kind of wondering how he would smoke it. He pulled a fork out of his pocket, stuck the cigarette between the prongs of the fork and started to smoke it. With a fork!
And all I could think to myself is;
I’ve got it good.
I won the lottery last night. But I don’t know it, because I haven’t checked the ticket yet.
That one dollar gives me the ability to dream for hours throughout my day of all the things I’ll buy with my one hundred and eighteen million dollars. I can close my eyes and dream of yachts in the Caribbean, trips to Italy and Spain, a brand new house on a plot of land in the middle of southwestern Australia, a fully stocked bar with a hot ass eastern European girl to serve me and my woman cocktails on a white sandy beach in the Mediterranean, and I don’t even give her a look because I’m so fucking rich that I just don’t care anymore. And even if I didn’t win the Lottery, I have a dollar and a dream.
I’ve got it good
I can go outside on the patio and feel the cool breeze on my face and lift my drink to the sky and shout, “cheers to freedom of speech!” and I can do this because I live in a country where people whine and bitch and complain that they got it so bad and that the government just keeps doin’ them wrong, when they don’t even realize how powerful we are to even have the ability to bitch and complain about anything at all.
I am here tonight with warm friends and all of your beautiful faces, and we can mingle and drink and talk and listen and love, and we can all go home drunk and happy and sleep in our warm beds in our houses that are made of something other than dirt and cardboard.
Tonight, it’s two-dollar Rum and Coke night.
I’ve got it good.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
A Siren Named Marie
A Siren Named Marie
On the open blue sea, you could see me,
On a ship that would rock and sway.
The sails were down, and without a sound,
I happily drifted away.
Then one night, a flashing light,
A storm was headed my way.
The waves would pound; I thought I might drown,
So I cut the sails away.
The swells were large and would toss the barge,
It gave me quite a fright.
I tossed and turned, my lantern burned,
The ship made it through the night.
Then the dawn came, with the Sun’s burning flame,
A gull landed on the stern.
He said, “Hey Jack, ye best turn back,
Or else dinner, a siren would earn.”
But I take no heed, I am brave indeed,
And I sail on my merry way.
I had no desire, to halt and retire,
From the words that a seagull would say.
That afternoon, I heard a soft tune,
It was coming from the shore ahead.
The ship made a thud, as it hit the mud,
And laid in it’s watery bed.
I came to a lagoon, with my harpoon,
It slung over my shoulder.
And there she lay, at the edge of the bay,
Resting neatly on a boulder.
Her hair shimmered, and her eyes glimmered,
She was the most beautiful being.
With a seductive stare, she twirled her hair,
And laid on the rock just singing.
When we met eyes, she opened her thighs,
I dropped my weapon to my side.
I thought to myself, I would give the world’s wealth,
To make this creature my bride.
That night she… devoured me,
Spit my bones to the sea.
I was unaware of the sailor’s nightmare,
A siren, named Marie.
I came back in full, as a gull,
I landed on a ships stern.
I said, “hey Jack, ye best turn back,
Or else dinner, a siren would earn.”
On the open blue sea, you could see me,
On a ship that would rock and sway.
The sails were down, and without a sound,
I happily drifted away.
Then one night, a flashing light,
A storm was headed my way.
The waves would pound; I thought I might drown,
So I cut the sails away.
The swells were large and would toss the barge,
It gave me quite a fright.
I tossed and turned, my lantern burned,
The ship made it through the night.
Then the dawn came, with the Sun’s burning flame,
A gull landed on the stern.
He said, “Hey Jack, ye best turn back,
Or else dinner, a siren would earn.”
But I take no heed, I am brave indeed,
And I sail on my merry way.
I had no desire, to halt and retire,
From the words that a seagull would say.
That afternoon, I heard a soft tune,
It was coming from the shore ahead.
The ship made a thud, as it hit the mud,
And laid in it’s watery bed.
I came to a lagoon, with my harpoon,
It slung over my shoulder.
And there she lay, at the edge of the bay,
Resting neatly on a boulder.
Her hair shimmered, and her eyes glimmered,
She was the most beautiful being.
With a seductive stare, she twirled her hair,
And laid on the rock just singing.
When we met eyes, she opened her thighs,
I dropped my weapon to my side.
I thought to myself, I would give the world’s wealth,
To make this creature my bride.
That night she… devoured me,
Spit my bones to the sea.
I was unaware of the sailor’s nightmare,
A siren, named Marie.
I came back in full, as a gull,
I landed on a ships stern.
I said, “hey Jack, ye best turn back,
Or else dinner, a siren would earn.”
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Immigration Reform
I must say that I am utterly disgusted with the media and politics surrounding the latest law passed by the governor of Arizona, which requires all residents of its state to be able to show that they are legally allowed to reside in the United States. Federal law currently prohibits immigrants from ANY country to cross its borders illegally, and it is deemed a federal offense that gives the punishment of deportation for all of those in this country who are not allowed to be here.
On April 23rd 2010, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed into law, what some say is the “toughest legislation against illegal immigration”. By that they mean that you may not legally cross our borders without going through a registration process that requires you to cross into the United States of America with valid paperwork stating that you are allowed to live and work in our country. If you do not abide by this law, you face deportation back to the country from which you came.
First off, I think that it is INSANE that a state governor has to waste their time signing a state law, that is already, and always has been, a federal law. This would be like me saying “if you want to live under my roof, you have to do the dishes twice a week” and then another person in my household calling a meeting saying, “if you want to live in this household, you have to do the dishes twice a week.” Is that not the same exact law? Why are we wasting time reiterating something that has already been set in stone? I’ll tell you why, because NOBODY IS DOING THE DISHES! Jan brewer says, “We in Arizona have been more than patient waiting for Washington to act, but decades of inaction and misguided policy have created a dangerous and unacceptable situation.”
The dangerous and unacceptable situation that she is talking about is people being kidnapped during the middle of the night, farmers trying to ward off drug related issues with shotguns on a weekly basis, and by far the worst, the brutal murders of countless U.S. citizens in cities lying on the edge of Arizona’s borders. These crimes, if you haven’t already gathered, are all being committed by people who are not legally allowed to be in this country.
People are in outrage over this law, because they are afraid that they will be racially profiled, and will have to show a form of identification claiming that they are legally allowed to be here every time they get pulled over by the cops. I’ve personally been pulled over by the cops on countless occasions, and every time I’ve been pulled over, the first thing they ask me for is my identification (I’m white). I provide them with my identification and go on my merry way, providing that I haven’t committed some sort of crime, which prompted them to pull me over in the first place (which is usually, not always, but usually the case).
I’m sorry but if you are in our territory, and you aren’t legally supposed to be here, GET OUT! I’m not saying that this country wasn’t built off of immigration, I’m not saying that immigration is a bad thing (when it brings educated people to our country to help stimulate our economy) I’m not saying that immigrants aren’t hard workers, I’m not saying that everyone who comes to this country is a criminal, and I am definitely not saying that I have a problem with your race, gender or sexual orientation, because to be honest, I don’t give a rats ass.
What I do care about is the fact that I am a full-blown, born and bread American citizen that has his own struggles dealing with his own unemployment, inability to receive medical insurance without paying out his ass, and now I have to deal with knowing that not only am I living on the edge in my own country, but there are people out there with full time, good paying jobs, using our medical system (WHICH COMES OUT OF MY POCKET) and they are FELONS. They are felons because they violated federal law by crossing our borders illegally. This would be qualified as a federal offense. Not only that, but my own fellow Americans are living in fear of their lives at the borders of our country because of a drug cartel problem. This is insanity to me.
On May 8th 2010, an article was posted by George Kiriyama stating that a small group of students were sent home from a Californian school on ‘Cinco de Mayo’ for wearing t-shirts and bandannas depicting American flags, otherwise they would face suspension. This had me absolutely outraged. One of the students, Daniel Galli said that he was told by the principal that Cinco de Mayo was “sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it's supposed to be their holiday so we were not allowed to wear it today.” According to Kiriyama, to many Mexican-American students at Live Oak, this was a big deal. They say they were offended by the five boys and others for wearing American colors on a Mexican holiday. One student, Annicia Nunez, was quoted as saying, "We don't deserve to be get disrespected like that. We wouldn't do that on Fourth of July.”
Excuse me, but not only should the American school system see it as a blessing that any student shows even a stitch of American patriotism, given the political climate, but they should NEVER tell a student that they aren’t allowed to wear the colors of their own country, no matter what day it is. I’m an American, and I’ll wear our flag whenever the fuck I please! And if you try to reprimand me for it, maybe you should be shipped out as well. I’m surprised that the principal of this school still has a job to go to.
Sorry for getting all political on everyone, but I think it’s imperative that we follow the laws that were put in place to make this country as great as it is. And furthermore, if you agree that you should follow the laws of your country to make it a better place to live, stand up and say something!
On April 23rd 2010, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed into law, what some say is the “toughest legislation against illegal immigration”. By that they mean that you may not legally cross our borders without going through a registration process that requires you to cross into the United States of America with valid paperwork stating that you are allowed to live and work in our country. If you do not abide by this law, you face deportation back to the country from which you came.
First off, I think that it is INSANE that a state governor has to waste their time signing a state law, that is already, and always has been, a federal law. This would be like me saying “if you want to live under my roof, you have to do the dishes twice a week” and then another person in my household calling a meeting saying, “if you want to live in this household, you have to do the dishes twice a week.” Is that not the same exact law? Why are we wasting time reiterating something that has already been set in stone? I’ll tell you why, because NOBODY IS DOING THE DISHES! Jan brewer says, “We in Arizona have been more than patient waiting for Washington to act, but decades of inaction and misguided policy have created a dangerous and unacceptable situation.”
The dangerous and unacceptable situation that she is talking about is people being kidnapped during the middle of the night, farmers trying to ward off drug related issues with shotguns on a weekly basis, and by far the worst, the brutal murders of countless U.S. citizens in cities lying on the edge of Arizona’s borders. These crimes, if you haven’t already gathered, are all being committed by people who are not legally allowed to be in this country.
People are in outrage over this law, because they are afraid that they will be racially profiled, and will have to show a form of identification claiming that they are legally allowed to be here every time they get pulled over by the cops. I’ve personally been pulled over by the cops on countless occasions, and every time I’ve been pulled over, the first thing they ask me for is my identification (I’m white). I provide them with my identification and go on my merry way, providing that I haven’t committed some sort of crime, which prompted them to pull me over in the first place (which is usually, not always, but usually the case).
I’m sorry but if you are in our territory, and you aren’t legally supposed to be here, GET OUT! I’m not saying that this country wasn’t built off of immigration, I’m not saying that immigration is a bad thing (when it brings educated people to our country to help stimulate our economy) I’m not saying that immigrants aren’t hard workers, I’m not saying that everyone who comes to this country is a criminal, and I am definitely not saying that I have a problem with your race, gender or sexual orientation, because to be honest, I don’t give a rats ass.
What I do care about is the fact that I am a full-blown, born and bread American citizen that has his own struggles dealing with his own unemployment, inability to receive medical insurance without paying out his ass, and now I have to deal with knowing that not only am I living on the edge in my own country, but there are people out there with full time, good paying jobs, using our medical system (WHICH COMES OUT OF MY POCKET) and they are FELONS. They are felons because they violated federal law by crossing our borders illegally. This would be qualified as a federal offense. Not only that, but my own fellow Americans are living in fear of their lives at the borders of our country because of a drug cartel problem. This is insanity to me.
On May 8th 2010, an article was posted by George Kiriyama stating that a small group of students were sent home from a Californian school on ‘Cinco de Mayo’ for wearing t-shirts and bandannas depicting American flags, otherwise they would face suspension. This had me absolutely outraged. One of the students, Daniel Galli said that he was told by the principal that Cinco de Mayo was “sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it's supposed to be their holiday so we were not allowed to wear it today.” According to Kiriyama, to many Mexican-American students at Live Oak, this was a big deal. They say they were offended by the five boys and others for wearing American colors on a Mexican holiday. One student, Annicia Nunez, was quoted as saying, "We don't deserve to be get disrespected like that. We wouldn't do that on Fourth of July.”
Excuse me, but not only should the American school system see it as a blessing that any student shows even a stitch of American patriotism, given the political climate, but they should NEVER tell a student that they aren’t allowed to wear the colors of their own country, no matter what day it is. I’m an American, and I’ll wear our flag whenever the fuck I please! And if you try to reprimand me for it, maybe you should be shipped out as well. I’m surprised that the principal of this school still has a job to go to.
Sorry for getting all political on everyone, but I think it’s imperative that we follow the laws that were put in place to make this country as great as it is. And furthermore, if you agree that you should follow the laws of your country to make it a better place to live, stand up and say something!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Twins for Breakfast
I cracked an egg this morning, and two yolks came out!!
Twins for Breakfast
Would they walk and talk the same?
Would they wonder from which egg they came?
Would they look like each other?
Would they be sister and brother?
Would they share a spiritual connection unexplained?
Would they live a life restrained?
Would they have the same thoughts and feelings?
Would they live in a hen house with low wood ceilings?
Would they have fought over who was hatched first?
Would they have fought over who was best, and worst?
Would they have grown to be the finest hens in the county?
Would they have made a farmer a bounty?
They will never grow,
And the world will never know.
But I’ll tell you one thing, without shame,
They both tasted exactly the same…
I had twins for breakfast.
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