I’ve got it good

I have hands and arms and legs and feet,
I have an air conditioner to keep me from the summers heat,
I have a few friends and even more acquaintances.
I’ve got it good.
Did you know that as of this year, and this is a fact, 1.1 billion people in this world still don’t have toilets?
Literally, not a pot to piss in.
I have a toilet. Fuck, there’s a toilet right over there. In fact, I think there’s six of them, if not more!
I’ve got it good.
I have a car.
I have a vehicle in which I can drive to the grocery store, where there is an extensive array of food and beverages and cleaning supplies and candy and beer and liquor and cigarettes, and anything else one could possibly need. Enough to feed a small country.
And if for some reason I couldn’t afford to buy all the things that I could ever want. I can buy it on credit.
I’ve got it good.
I’ve got eyeballs.
My eyes give me the ability to take in an exhibition of shapes and colours that form a ridiculously beautiful sea of visual being that helps me contour the amazing reality that sits right here in front of me.
And through these eyes I can be confronted with the night sky and the clouds above that, and the stars above that, and they let me ponder and contemplate the vastness of the universe and give me the inspiration to think and wonder, “what are we, and why are we here?”
I’ve got it good
I have a cell phone. A mass of elements that have been melded together and through thousands of years of science and technology and the infinite imagination of the human psyche to conjure up this little device comprised of plastic and metal. With this device I can talk to my family in real time while they sit in a nice well-lit living room in the darkness of night in a different part of the country. With the push of a few buttons I can contact whomever I wish, within reason, and I can tell them anything that is on my mind at any time. I can make a call to a random person on the other side of the planet where people walk upside-down in comparison and say, “hey fuck you Frenchie!” and hang up.
I’ve got it good
Just yesterday, a crippled guy limped up to me and asked me for a cigarette.
I gave him one.
You know why? Because I have a whole pack of them.
His hands were twisted inward and I was kind of wondering how he would smoke it. He pulled a fork out of his pocket, stuck the cigarette between the prongs of the fork and started to smoke it. With a fork!
And all I could think to myself is;
I’ve got it good.
I won the lottery last night. But I don’t know it, because I haven’t checked the ticket yet.
That one dollar gives me the ability to dream for hours throughout my day of all the things I’ll buy with my one hundred and eighteen million dollars. I can close my eyes and dream of yachts in the Caribbean, trips to Italy and Spain, a brand new house on a plot of land in the middle of southwestern Australia, a fully stocked bar with a hot ass eastern European girl to serve me and my woman cocktails on a white sandy beach in the Mediterranean, and I don’t even give her a look because I’m so fucking rich that I just don’t care anymore. And even if I didn’t win the Lottery, I have a dollar and a dream.
I’ve got it good
I can go outside on the patio and feel the cool breeze on my face and lift my drink to the sky and shout, “cheers to freedom of speech!” and I can do this because I live in a country where people whine and bitch and complain that they got it so bad and that the government just keeps doin’ them wrong, when they don’t even realize how powerful we are to even have the ability to bitch and complain about anything at all.
I am here tonight with warm friends and all of your beautiful faces, and we can mingle and drink and talk and listen and love, and we can all go home drunk and happy and sleep in our warm beds in our houses that are made of something other than dirt and cardboard.
Tonight, it’s two-dollar Rum and Coke night.
I’ve got it good.